The Secret to Understanding You

Although it helps to understand what women and men want and need out of a relationship, it’s important for you to assess where it all went wrong in your own relationship. Often there are multiple issues being the cause for your relationship troubles. You need to assess the damage and acknowledge where the problem lies.

Is it a communication problem? Do you find yourself constantly arguing about trivial matters or problems aroused from misunderstandings?

Or are you simply too different in terms of your life goals and ambitions?

Are there outside forces tearing you apart? Or has your relationship simply turned stale and lifeless?

Pinpoint the issues and jot them down. Stop yourself from wanting to blame, instead look at where the miscommunications lie and how things can be improved. Would it help if you both were honest and upfront about your feelings? Are you willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship? Is your ex or your partner willing to compromise?

The Emotional Female – What Women Craves

In contrast to men, women are naturally more in-tune with their emotions and feelings. They’re better at spotting detail and reading body language. Women, as the nurturer, tend to want to take care of things. Women feel men are like children, who need a woman to take care of them.

It’s because women are usually the ones to look after and care for their man, they can start to feel under-appreciated when their efforts are not acknowledged. While men are busy trying to be the ‘man’ of the relationship, they fail to appreciate or notice the little things women do for them.

Once a woman feels she isn’t loved or appreciated anymore, she’ll soon start to look elsewhere. In the same respect, if she feels the man isn’t providing enough for her (support, security, love etc), she’ll also feel inclined to look for those things elsewhere.

Men might want to say women are confusing and because their actions doesn't always make sense, some may even call women evil.

Women are much more emotion-driven than men. This can certainly make their reasoning and actions seem rather spontaneous and difficult. Women also have a wild side that likes to be entertained. They love surprises, challenges and adventures. They would rather not plan everything miraculously before actually doing it... eg going out for dinner.

In the heart of all women, they dream of their knight to swept them off their feet and take them away from predictability of life. All that means is they want their man to be spontaneous, romantic and take action without needing to be asked.

Women also tend to notice the details. They care more for small sweet gestures on a regular basis than grand gestures that happen in a blue moon. They love to be hugged, kissed and flirted with everyday if possible.

Are they too much work? They don't need to be but if men mistakenly feel once they have done all the hard work of getting the woman, he can slowly stop trying anymore. The truth is, the courting process should never end. Not for a woman at least. If you want her heart, you need to constantly woo and date your woman. Sex also means different things to a woman. Women associate a lot of love and emotions towards sex. Whether they want to or not, women will always become attached to whomever they share the bed with.

The problem with women can be equally said about men. They fail to think men are men and therefore communicate as if they are a woman. Men does exactly the same thing, and because of this, a lot of conflict, confusion and misunderstanding will develop.

The best way to communicate is to keep in mind that they DO think differently. Pay more attention to the details. What women say is rarely what they truly mean, this will be a hard one to crack but if you play emotional detective, you'll be able to sense what she truly is thinking from her body language and her actions.

What Men Desires

Although men and women aren’t much different in the sense that we all want to be loved and appreciated by our partners, conflict is most evident in the way men and women choose to communicate with one another in a relationship.

The truth is the male brain is actually extremely different to the female brain, and the more you understand how men think, the more success you will have with communicating with them.

In the prehistoric times men assumed the role of hunter. As a result they developed a brain better suited for assessing situation, calculating speed, tracking and mapping…in other words the logical side of the brain. This can definitely explain why modern men take better to video games, sports, golf and other more technical activities such as using computers.

Of course this doesn’t mean to say all men are into these things but as a general rule,these are the things their brains are more wired to do.

It’s also why most men need to feel like the masculine heroine in the relationship. They want to feel needed and admired. They want to be the protector in the relationship. At the same time women also buy into this stereotype that their man SHOULD be the provider.

Too often the ideal male image can poison a relationship. When women find their partner not quite living up to their ideal, they only end up blaming, nagging, judging and nitpicking at everything the man is doing WRONG. This will only make the man feel resentful, bitter and undervalued.

Once they feel they’re lower than the role they believe they should play in a relationship, they will leave that relationship for someone who WILL appreciate and admire them.

Men also need their space and 'quiet' time. Unlike women, men like to chill out and in a sense, go into meditative-mode after a hard day's work. This is why men, after coming home from work, would rather relax in front of the tv, read the news or browse the internet. Women on the other hand, would much rather talk about their day as a way to unwind.

Women also tend to think their man should just 'know' what is on their mind. These women will be coy, indirect or drop hints in the hopes their man will just 'get it'. Then when their man doesn't get it, the woman becomes grumpy and upset instead. If you find yourself doing this, do yourself and your man a favour and be direct and open about what it is on your mind instead.

Being too needy, available and dependent on your man will only make him feel trapped. If a man feels trapped, he will build a feeling of resentment for the woman. Trivial issues get blown out of proportion and eventually the man will be criticizing the woman's every move as being too controlling.

A man isn't attracted to a woman because she doesn't have a life outside of him, he's attracted to a woman who is independent, self-respected and has the ability to speak her mind.

Understanding men is key to getting what you want out of them. If you have lost the ability to communicate efficiently with your man, keep in mind the things they most desire from the relationship and work on bringing that out in you.